I always thought I was so lucky to be a woman given the way I am, but it's not really doing me much good and it makes me feel horrible and like there's gotta be something wrong with me and no one really wants me, otherwise there'd be at least one persistent man.

My problem is I have no friends either anymore so where the hell do you meet people? I've been approached by guys on street but that's such a weird thing to do and they are the cocky type who want to take you home immediately. A couple of times I ignored all common sense and went to a guy's home just to see what happens and later ghosted him because I was too ashamed of myself and didn't know what to do with him, like I'm ashamed to even get fully naked so I don't know how I'm supposed to be with anyone. I am ashamed of having no friends too. Plus I'm demisexual and I need to already be in love with you to really wanna have sex.

At least where I live exclusivity and being official aren't things people need to talk about, it's just normal to be exclusive, though I'm sure there are plenty of fuckboys.