American here. The example on the left is using terrible grammar and "find some relief" is just a weird way to say you have to pee. I assume the author made up the longest sentence they could imagine to show how much more efficient Globish is. We also typically say bathroom instead of toilet, even if we're not planning on bathing, but I know this is a uniquely american thing.

In any case, what I would say would depend on context:

Inside a building, talking to someone who works there: "Excuse me, which way is your bathroom?" or "Do you mind showing me where the bathroom is?

Out and about, asking a fellow stranger: "Do you happen to know where the bathroom is?"