My ex-best friend (22M) raped me (20M) two years ago, and I want one last conversation because I want to be at peace with him knowing he's sorry for what he's done

No.

Also, that's not even the same thing.

You want to spice things up by moving them to the other bed, right? So you pick them up. They wrap their arms around you. Assuming you're him in this situation, your penis is in their butt. You carry them, trip, and then slam them against the wall. You keep going, while you're regaining your grip, and then transfer them to the bed, and keep going.

That's way different than dropping them and they presumably land on the floor, is it not?

Going back to why it's rape. Problem is that he didn't check in with me. A lack of consent does not warrant consent, yes? Consent has to also be maintained throughout, and you have to obtain consent through whatever means when changing. Consent to one activity does not mean consent to another.

So going off of that, I consented to be moved to the other bed. I did not consent to being slammed against the wall. Because he "accidentally" tripped or whatever, you're supposed to check in with your person you're having sex with to make sure consent is still present. He did not. If consent is not obtained, you're supposed to stop.

I guess because neither of us said anything, it's okay, right? Well, probably not, at least I didn't feel okay, but given the university had to go off of it being an accident, they sided with him being not at fault and it not being a violation of misconduct.

/r/rape Thread Parent