Reading your post sounds like me when I was twenty and had my first love break my heart into a billion pieces over long distance. I wish I had had your maturity and wherewithal to go no contact with him bc we went back and forth for years after that initial break up trying make it work but to no avail. Oh the stories I could tell of what he and I put ourselves through. And I had your same sentiments, I wanted him to regret it, I wanted him to pay, I wanted him to come crawling back bc he knew he messed up, but don't be that guy. Work through your emotions and cry, journal, go dancing, get a pedicure, don't repress it like I did back then. And please don't get a rebound guy to make him jealous. Anyway, after trying to go no contact a few times and failing, he finally pissed me off so bad one day that I did go no contact. Best decision I could have made. Be strong. He's an idiot, or maybe he isn't, it doesn't really matter, you go do you and find someone who wants to work it out with you as much as you want to work it out with them. I feel for ya tho, I have been in your shoes and it sucks, but it gets better I promise.