I usually do not comment on these posts but this one hits close to home for me.
My current boyfriend (M24) of 9 months and I (F22) have a similar situation. We began talking in August of 2018 and at first it was just a hook up from time to time. I have had a crush on him since we were in high school though so I quickly caught feelings, and he did too actually, we just NEVER expressed this to each other. Our biggest mistake at the time.
We continued on with our boundary-less FWB without properly communicating. At first it was very lowkey and no one knew about it. He even slept with someone else in Oct of 2018 casually after drinking one night. In December of 2018 we started seeing each other 2-3 times a week and it was getting more serious but we never discussed it. I expressed to him that I liked him and he kind of blew it off which lead me to be upset and things got really rocky for us. We “ended” things but still communicated from time to time so it was a very confusing time. I think we only went 5 total days without communicating at all.
In January of 2019 I slept with another person. I would like to point out that I am a very committed, caring, and empathetic person. I have never hooked up with anyone I just met and I had not previously just hooked up with someone because I was trying to move on from someone else. I was so hurt and betrayed by the person I actually liked, and it honestly could have all been solved if we just defined things and were honest with each other when we communicated instead of cutting edges.
I told the guy I actually liked about this other guy and no, he did not handle it well, but I explained everything, obviously with more detail to him and expressed the reasoning behind why I did what I did. he understand although he was not happy.
From that point on we vowed to communicate and be honest with each other and it was honestly a turning point for us. We’ve been dating since April of 2019. It has not been easy like any relationship, but we have grown so much today since last year.
The thing with these subs is people can be SO quick to say “dump them” because they do not see the whole picture. I don’t even know your full story but I do know I have been the individual on the other side and I would allow yourself to hear her out and listen to what she really has to say.
I still struggle with forgiving myself for what I allowed myself to do, and I know my boyfriend was deeply hurt by it, but it honestly forced us to be honest and genuine with one another and also ourselves in literally every situation.
Talk to her, let her pour out her honesty, and give yourself time to let it settle. I urge you to not just quit.