I read all of what you wrote and it sounds like her dad would rather be her best friend than a parent.

Yes, it’s okay to have fun with your children, but there comes a time where you also need to put your foot down. He’s letting her rule his house. She sounds very entitled, bossy and demanding, snobby and materialistic, bratty and rude, and a massive bully, all because her dad is too scared to put his foot down with his princess. This is the monster he created. Of course they get along well, he never punishes her and gets her whatever she wants, takes her to do whatever, and by what you described, they seem to have similar personalities. She views you as the bad guy because you’re actually trying to be a decent parent and put your foot down with her. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with her and her dad.

As hard as this sounds, I would just let her go live with him. Stop fighting for her. She doesn’t appreciate anything you do for her, so it’s time to buy her a plane ticket and let her go live with him. He can enroll her in a school near him, and deal with all the trouble she causes. Fuck what the court says, she is abusive towards you and you don’t deserve that.