Background: ptsd for abt 14 years, since the social collapse in argentina. constant anxiety around people. especially places that remind me of shit from argentina. even if the weather is similar, windy, dark grey days, similar to every day in the eastern patagonia. 4 months ago tried etiz. Anxiety was a stranger, i was me again. Everywhere, pop an etiz and i'm me. People commented that they haven't seen me so "me" in a long time. Interpreted spanish in a public conference with a state senator, something I would have passed up on without etizolam. Translated/Interpreted flawlessly withouth the anxiety. Also, have made many contacts with professionals that I ordinarily wouldn't have talked to. I keep to myself in groups and parties, whether I want to or not. Or i'm the lame fuck over there trying to make conversation with the cute uninterested girl because I'm so fucking nervous/on edge. People tell me I am too intense. This stuff was a godsend. obviously, got carried away went through shit tons of it the first 2 months. 250 mg in 2 weeks type shit at the end of the bingeing. Thought I was in deep shit and got anxious thinking about the fear talk, seizures, etc. thought I was screwed at my dosage ordered pressed pills to measure my accurate dosage, have now brought it to about 6-7 mg/day without much trouble. Kratom daily also is a fricken GEM if you're trying to taper anything, quit anything, good god. Getcha some kratom. It's not hard to maintain 6 a day now, and I'm sure I can bring that down further with effort. What I wonder, is do I want to make the effort? 6 mg a day is high, but my anxiety was constant and kicking my ass, for years. As a store manager this would have helped greatly, I probably wouldn't have quit the job because of the stress and my anger/mood swings. this evens those all out. people don't even ask if i'm on something. They just say I finally look "relaxed" Maybe for some, (even addictive personalities like mine) daily etiz might not be a terrible thing if it makes you human and able to accomplish what you naturally would - without all the extra cortisol in your veins for fight or flight at any fucking moment. Or am I just fooling myself. coming down from 250 mg in two weeks to 6 a day wasn't that bad, so it doesn't seem like it's as bad as I thought it would be. I am still enjoying the success with people I'm having at around 6 mg/day. Im actually learning social skills that might transfer over to when i do finally quit. don't plan on it forever. Goal is to have a nice LSD trip soon and quit all chemicals, even cigs. Going to keep searching out that spiritual experience that gets me there anyways; I'll definitely need a good one to be convinced that chemicals aren't my allies. Deep down I think they probably aren't. Need some shrooms or a good recommendation for that spiritual experience to get me there. Going with a friend who has acquired some good old school acid first. See what happens. just an afternoon vent. maybe some have had similar thoughts on a sunday afternoon Edit: did the universe an injustice and forgot to mention I used about 1 mg of diclazepam each night during the 20 to 6 mg taper of the etiz