You need to leave, record incidents of abuse in a log with dates and approximate times, and you need to get legal help. The ways he's making known that he is aware of what is and isn't legal isn't good, I take it as a threat that it can and will be used against you, the one being abused. My ex husband was not usually physical, it started with restraining me when I was upset, pinching or groping me sexually and aggressively whenever he wanted or was angry, and eventually led to other subtle ways to hurt me, like being so intentionally rough during sex he caused me to bleed and did not stop.

It'll get far, far worse, and he'll find ways to make it "he said, she said" ways to make it sound like you were abusive or consenting. He'll make it sound like self defense, he'll make your life hell, he'll cover up any proof that he's the problem if it comes down to it. It's very likely he'll start blaming YOU for what your child starts doing which demonstrates an unhealthy environment, and in his mind, it is your fault, because you "make" him do this. But if he plays his cards right, the people who can help him make your life hell won't really know that.

My biggest regret is not doing enough to make my side of the story clear, so that could be used against me at any time even after I left. That threat of causing a lot of drama and making himself sound like the victim to the people it would matter to is constant even now when he messes up parenting our child on his time and is concerned with ways to tell me how it's really my fault and happened on my time.

I had an amazing lawyer who helped me, even then, I couldn't get what I needed it or wanted, because the tenacity of his intent to make me the monster was hard to face or defend against. I got a pittance of child support and went through constant hell of being intimidated, like when his bull dog of a male rights lawyer kept threatening to have me held in contempt for inconsequential shit until my lawyer stepped in and made it clear it was going to the state BAR if it continued.

You need to get it together NOW. this is a man who will do similar and punish you for leaving, however, that should not stop you, it should be even more reason to leave and make your case that he is unfit for more than supervised visitation.