I work full time and my husband works almost full time and we stagger our schedules so we don't have any outside daycare. We also have a 2yr old and a newborn so I know the chaos you live in.

I have to regiment a real tight timeline scheduling every chore and obligation in order to eek out some quality family time. It's stressful because if one of us decides to idle it tblows the entire day and it's our "optional" family time that gets put on the back burner or we are stressed because we weren't able to accomplish some goals. We really have to communicate and work as a team. Some of it is resetting expectations (my husband is notorious for taking on a project and underestimating how long/how much it will cost), I have to adapt by realizing not every meal I make for my family will be a gourmet intricate meal from scratch and to utilize some simple recipes or crockpot type meals, relaxing a bit about how clean the house has to be, and both of us sacrifice sleep in order to make time. We basically have come to accept that it will be this way for a few more years until the kids start school. I've considered hiring a maid once a week to do some of the deep cleaning that tends to get neglected but I'm the type of person having someone doing this for me might stress me out more than the benefit of the help. lol. My husband really struggled with not getting time to work on his projects as much and started becoming very negative and it impacted all of us. He's focused on adjusting his attitude to make the most of this fleeting time and try to enjoy these fleeting moments.

What kind of cleaning needs to be done when you get home? Can you consolidate errands (ex: we try to grocery shop once a week and we combine any driving around town errands on that day so we aren't having to load up and unload sometimes uncooperative kids daily). Cooking, crockpot freezer meals or prep easy to assemble dinners earlier in the week (I trim and marinate a bunch of chicken for quick grilling, wash and chop veggies and fruits, and cook a large batch of rice or quinoa. At least twice a week dinner and lunch is a mix bowl throwing together chopped meat, veggies, and grains or a salad, literally takes 5 minutes to get dinner on the table). Entertaining a toddler can be really time consuming and messy. Ours has such an abundance of toys he gets bored and tends to just go around dumping toys on the ground and not really playing with them. This was not helping the cleaning issue so I got 6 large clear storage boxes and sorted out toys according to theme. I put away 5 boxes and rotate out one box a week or so, now the toys intrigue him more because they seem "new" to him. They storage box also acts as a central dump for cleaning up at the end of the day and we've started making him put away his toys in order to access other ones, having him also part of chores helps a little and keeps him occupied too.

those are just some ideas off the top of my head.