My father killed himself when I was sixteen and I didn’t feel like I felt nearly enough emotion about this as I should have. Around this time that I to struggle more with anxiety over what people thought of me and my social skills have been in decline ever since.

Sounds like you have a lot of variables at play. Impossible to address all your concerns, but I thought I'd add my experience. I lost both parents by the time I was 17. I didn't feel a lot of emotion about the loss of my father. That bugged me a lot then. Now, looking back 30 years later, that was okay. I mean, emotions are emotions. You can dig around them and see what might be factors, but they are what they are. I'm letting myself off the hook for feeling a little indifferent at the time. Plus, I was a teenager; I had a lot of things on my mind. Might have been I just had teenage priorities. Or they might have been, like you say, distractions to help cope.

I'm sorry you lost your dad. And I'm sorry about how you lost him. You've got a lot of license to feel many, many ways and to cope with it in many ways. Just be careful if how you cope ever negatively impacts the people around you that you care about. Then it's time to take responsibility for yourself.

Good luck to you.

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