I think my interest in BDSM generally comes from only one thing - lack of attention in my childhood. I have never been bullied or anything but my parents were always very busy and liberal. I remember feeling neglected just because they would let me do things the way I wanted. I wanted them to be strict to me, like other children's parents, so I would feel that they cared for me. I craved discipline, control, and attention all the time and I still do. I am working on myself not to be that way but it is hard. Mind you, I am an extremely independent person who does not ask for help even when she needs it. But, sexually, I still crave discipline and a lot of attention.

However, as you already know, human mind is a huge mystery - I can only suspect these things but I don't think I will ever know for sure why I am the way I am.