My fiancé wants a month of being selfish before the wedding.

I put selfish in parentheses. Perhaps I didn't make my point clearly enough, my bad.

So, a lot of people call "doing things for yourself" selfishness. They think someone who puts their own needs first, even when it's healthy for the relationship, is being selfish. For example, having your own bedroom. Many people see this as a sign the relationship is failing. It is "selfish" while not being harmful.

Then there are people who are selfish without balancing it with selflessness. There needs to be a healthy balance between doing things for yourself [selfish] and doing things for your partner [selfless]. I should also say that I don't view being "selfish" as a bad thing, as long as it's healthy for the person, the couple, and society.

Someone wanting to finish their food without sharing is not dangerously selfish. Someone denying people food all together is dangerously selfish.

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