my fiance (27M) is having 2nd thoughts about my (27F) wishes to have a surrogate based on family medical history and risks because he thinks it's "weird" and "unnatural" and is scared what people will think

This is heartbreaking for both of you. He is allowed to be against surrogacy (and to change his mind now--it's probably become much more real since you got engaged instead of just a theoretical discussion for the future) but he cannot force you to bear a child if that's not what you want.

You two need to sit down (with or without a third party like a therapist to facilitate the discussion) and figure out whether out whether a) you both want to have kids if you cannot carry the baby, and if so b) what options (surrogacy, adoption) appeal to both of you.

If he wants a genetic child that his partner carries even though you plan on never going through pregnancy yourself, then this might be a dealbreaker that ends your relationship. It sucks, but you need to both be on the same page when it comes to having kids and it's better to find out now before the wedding and while you're both still young.

I'm sorry.

/r/relationships Thread