It absolutely reflects poorly on him, and I'm genuinely not sure where I said that it didn't? I feel like my statement

it took me a long time to get past the fact that while I was panicked that I was losing my partner/best friend/future spouse, was busy trying to work to support us and his brother, while contending with both our families dumping all over us, he was texting some girl who couldn't have cared less about him

pretty clearly demonstrates my anger was solely with him. Do I think she did some shitty stuff in her past? Yes, irrefutably. Do I think she's a shitty person, or for that matter that my fiance is? No, I don't, because people aren't their actions. However, actions are telling. I know his actions have been nothing shy of admirable and great the past three years. I think having no support but his fiancee who was run ragged, while he was going through cancer is enough to make even the strongest of people behave poorly. I think it makes total sense he'd choose someone with lousy character- who do you think all these cheaters are going to choose otherwise? Regardless, my post wasn't about he and I- I have full faith and confidence in us- my post was about how to deal with this woman if she is rehired and hasn't changed her behavior? This woman called me names, disrespected me, and my relationship. I fully get that my fiance disrespected it too, funnily enough, I was there. In my opinion, he's redeemed himself, she never has. She knew me for years, knew we were engaged, and never apologized. The onus for the affair is on him, and he and I both held him accountable. All I wanted was some advice on how to not freak out about her, and all I've gotten is people telling me one or the other of us are stupid. So thank you for your input, 6/10 with rice.