He shouldn't have sole veto powers of what you two discuss or don't discuss.

Besides, it looks like he won't get your consent to repeat what's happened. Therefore, if we give him the benefit of the doubt that he won't spousal rape you, his already incredibly week argument of talking "taking the magic away" becomes moot entirely.

Basically, he gets the choice between learning why his behaviour is deeply concerning, and to learn from it. Or to shut down an adult conversation and sabotaging his relationship while he's at it.

Since neither of these options would satisfy his apparent dislocation kink, I see no reason why he should prefer door number 2.