Completely understandable. You need to go through those feelings and let them out. Eventually when your child is here and you see how your spouse and baby interact you will feel better. It takes a lot of time but just acknowledge that you both are together now because you love each other. I highly encourage lots of firsts for your baby just with your husband. I don’t mean for you to exclude you SC but try to find moments with your baby that the 3 of you can photograph and make your own. Travel to new places together, move somewhere new together. Those can be your personal milestones. Look for ways to create those unique moments to make yourself feel better until you are secure enough in the way you feel about your relationship to relax and breath a little. These things will begin to stand out less in your head as time goes on. It’s not easy at all and I told my spouse I would only go through all this for him. But im in a much better place in my life now and more secure that I really enjoy my ss and sometimes that seemed like it would be a hard task. But it’s actually not, once I started to really open my heart to him too.