It's a lovely evening at the Democratic National convention, attendees are standing there enjoying themselves and having drinks. A rumble is heard in the distance. The rumble gets louder and louder when over the hill the first one is seen. He's 400 pounds, the rascal mobility scooter he hijacked from the local Wal-Mart in the name of social justice is beginning to buckle under his weight. Suddenly, more shadows on the horizon, bright dazzling My Little Pony shirts flood the area with rainbow light as they step into the sun. The brightness illuminates their neon died hair and a thousand piercings descend from every crevice they can muster the courage to pierce.

The 400 pound leader rolls off his rascal scooter, Vote4Bernie his shirt reads as he raises his meat laden arms to form a horrendous silhouette of unemployability upon the hill. Suddenly the cry goes out! "TRIIIIIIGGGGGGGERRRRREEEEED" he screams, as his own cry is suddenly joined by the others, a thousand rascal scooters forcefully taken from the local Wal-Mart to give mighty steeds to the amorphous immobile proletariat whine under the weight of attack. They descend down the hill attempting to dodge anything that might be offensive.

"WE HAVE MEN DOWN" shouts one as some people become triggered and unable to advance because this sidewalk isn't ADA compliant with their rascal scooters. "TRIGGUHED" 300 more scream as they don't appreciate not being called by their non-binary gender specific word they've chosen to define themselves when the others went down. Suddenly ethe rest of this once majestic mighty pony fucking army of unique ungendered peoples has begun to fall as they realize the world is teeming with things they don't like.