My friend made this for a girl he really liked

In case image goes down for anyone, TRANSCRIPT:

I kinda just want to get to the point. To put it simply, I think you're great, but I don't know you all that well. So, for a lack of better words, this is me trying to make the first move. I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces, but I would really like to get to know you better before I leave because my ship date to leave is flexible. As nice as it would be, I'm not really looking for a relationship. I just don't want to be with someone I don't really know. Now i know this may sound crazy meeting up with some mystery guy, but i just thought this would be kinda cute and keep you interested. So I'm going to try to make this as comfortable and easy for you as possible. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. I'm not some 30 year old guy or some weirdo. You do know me. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. To make this easy, I was thinking that we could grab some ice cream at Coldstone tonight. Another thing to make it less awkward for you if you are not interested - Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. I won't look for you or keep my eyes peeled or anything. If nothing happens, so be it. Nothing will change and we will do our own things. would just would like to get to know you better. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Hope to see you soon! P.S. - You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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