What stood out to me is that she uses ADHD as an excuse for behaivor, but won't get treatment or try to be more aware of how she interacts with others.

People with real ADHD tend to feel embarrassed when they realize their behaivor may be annoying. I went undiagnosed and unaware until 40, and having a name and awareness for my struggles was life changing, and I wanted to do everything I could to be more self aware and manage my symptoms. Knowing there were tools available to make my life a little easier was everything. Now I'm not always successful, but I'm always trying.

Narcissists who don't want to change and want sympathy, will use a shield of every mental health condition they can to get away with treating people badly.