My friend wants to leave the mormon church but his parents won't let him

Hi, I grew up in the Mormon church so I’ve seen this situation play out a few times with about a dozen teenagers/young adults. Also I would highly recommend cross posting to r/exmormon because there are great resources there.

Wish I had better advice but the best results I’ve personally seen when the parents are really enmeshed in the lds church is to lay low and gray rock church until 18 then live his own life on his own terms as an adult outside his parents household. Right now his parents hold all the power, but once he is an adult he can move out, go to university or start working and he can cut the financial ties his family could use as leverage.

If you can try to help him save money and safely store important documents like his birth certificate, social security card, etc to make the transition on his own easier and make sure his parents don’t hold his documents/money hostage.

It’s difficult because the lds church demands so much, so many hours of your life with seminary, church, young men activities, temple trips, and all the different summer camps.

I don’t mean to fear monger but depending on how crazy his parents are, I’ve had friends literally shipped off to family in Utah (1000 miles away) against their will when they insisted they were done with church. My childhood best friend had lds parents who literally took all her electronic devices, car keys, and turned off the internet whenever they left her alone because she tried to leave the church and they “couldn’t trust her” because they “knew the church was true and she was being led astray”

I have a few friends (lgbtqia and just regular non believers) who did the bare minimum, got by, sidestepped questions about a mission with noncommittal answers and successfully moved on at 18 when their parents no longer had a say in their lives.

From experience I’m not convinced he can just show facts to his parents and undo decades of conditioning from the church. Sorry for the position he’s in, wishing you guys the best.

/r/needadvice Thread