My geriatric cat has a hard time cleaning her face. She came up with a plan.

He's doing the cat so many favors in this gif - not only does the cat prefer to be cleaned with its own saliva for sanitary reasons, but cat saliva also contains a substance called Secronum that reduces anxiety in the feline when applied to the face.

Secronum's actual use isn't clear, but its thought that cats believe that it acts as a super-camouflage. It hides them from predators, dogs, other cats, the bath tub, etc. If your cat licks you it's trying to make you disappear in most cases.

The best part is cats tend to "respect the illusion" meaning if it sees another cat applying Secronum to its face it will ignore that cat for a period of time, allowing the cat to enjoy its invisibility. Cats also ignore humans whom they've licked in the past, meaning if you can manage to never let your kitten lick you, it will actually be civil towards you and listen to commands much like your dog does, but it will forever be on a mission to lick you. It will go to extreme measures such as sink ambushes, sleep attacks, and full on military tactic squad attacks with its buddies.

Edit: last paragraph was one run-on sentence. Now it's not. Magic.

This is what it said

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