Sexual assault is sexual assault. It doesn't matter if man to woman, man to man, woman to woman, or, say it with me now, WOMAN TO MAN.
She sexually assaulted you. She knows you were molested/raped and she tried to rape you. That is in no way loving behavior. She is a terrible person.
Tell me ONE instance where you think it would be appropriate to shove your penis in the mouth of a person who said they don't want to perform oral sex on you. ONE instance where, when they have specifically NOT consented to performing oral sex that it would be ok to go ahead and force them, or attempt to force them, to do it anyway. If you can't think of one that's great, because it would be sexual assault to do that, right?
Your girlfriend shoving her genitals in your face when you have specifically refused that act is also sexual assault. And it makes me fucking ill.
Look. I'm a rape survivor myself. Raped by a partner no less. Obviously the entire relationship was abusive. A subsequent partner KNEW this and went ahead and did the one thing I told him he should under no circumstances do anyway.
There is no word in any language to describe the damage it did. Not only did I get to relive the original trauma, but I got to experience it twofold, AND at the hands of someone who knew about it and someone who assured me they cared for me and was trustworthy. I wanted to die. I literally wanted to die. I saw no way I could ever be ok after that. I got back into counseling, eventually, when I stopped finding ways to deny it happened again that is, and it took me 8 fucking years to even think about trying again. Thankfully, my current BF is absolutely wonderful. He knows about what happened and is sensitive to it but not afraid of it. I feel safe with him but in some ways, no, I won't ever be ok again. I know that.
Because someone I trusted with the knowledge of my rape basically raped me all over again.
OP, whether you consciously realize it or not your GF is re-traumatizing you. You told her you were forced to perform oral sex so she's claiming she loves you while.... forcing you to perform oral sex?
I am not a violent person. Not by any definition of the word. But this whole situation has me so angry for you I'd greatly enjoy finding this girl who claims to love you, and knocking her teeth down her throat on my behalf, your behalf, and the behalf of anyone else who's tried to recover from sexual abuse only to be abused again by someone who "loves" them.
I really don't understand how someone can be so heartless. You shouldn't have to offer her any analogies whatsoever. She should say, unquestioningly, that she understands, she'll never ask, and if you ever feel you want to try, she will let YOU approach the topic and go at YOUR pace.