My girlfriend [25 F] broke up with me [28 M] because I discussed/shared personal details about her with those close to me. Is that boundary a healthy one?

Having grown up on plenty of american television, I often see people talking about their relationships and their partners with those closest to them, and I enjoyed seeing this level of honest, open communication in people who have each others backs, and I wanted to be like that.

That is not at all how it is in real life. The majority of the time, American television is a caricature of real life relationships. Don't base your relationships on them.

I'm writing an essay to my ex girlfriend about our relationship

Your ex-girlfriend hasn't talked to you in months. A letter isn't going to change that, no matter how well-thought-out and heartfelt it is. You think it's going to change her mind, and it's not. In fact, if it were me, I'd be creeped out that this guy that I dated months ago can't respect my personal boundaries enough to leave me the fuck alone when I asked him to.

Your ex-girlfriend's personal boundaries are completely reasonable. You violated her trust and her privacy when you went to your friends and divulged the personal details of your relationship to them. It doesn't matter if they're your friends, they're strangers to your girlfriend, and she doesn't have to trust them just because you do. It's completely reasonable that someone wouldn't want strangers knowing about their personal lives.

/r/relationships Thread