My girlfriend [26F] can not tolerate gay people and I [23M] am worried what will happen if we have a child that is gay. There are serious talks of marriage.

She is FIRM that she will never change her perception of gay people (she thinks it's wrong)

She isn't inherently hateful towards gay people, she just doesn't agree with the orientation

You can disagree with somebody's decisions/viewpoints

This kind of thing is how people rationalize homophobia - as if being gay was a matter of opinion, something that you can argue and agree/disagree with. Homosexuality is not a decision, it's not a viewpoint, it's something that the person is.

Just like you and I are both straight. Did you ever choose to be gay? Did you ever have to defend your "viewpoint" that you feel attracted to women? Do you feel like anybody has to "agree" with you being straight? No, right? So why do we act as if that is something that's a burden gay people should have to bear?

I'm not saying you should break up with your GF because of this, like many people in this thread are (as if it was that simple). It's a complicated issue that has everything to do with the culture she was raised in, and I believe you can be a good person at heart, with misguided views because of how you were raised.

But this kind of thing is not an "opinion" that you will be able to argue her out of. She might be able to grow out of it by her own experiences as she lives away from her bigoted family, but it gets harder as she gets older. And it's something that you should really take into account before deciding to settle down with her, because it will brush off on you in the future.

TL;DR: You shouldn't go so easy on her as to consider it simply an "opinion", but if it should be a dealbreaker or not, it's up to you.

/r/relationships Thread