All I can say is that communication is key. You're telling her that this is bothering you. Is it like this every time? There's at least a couple of different things will do - make love, or straight up fuck. Both can be an expression of passion. It just manifests differently. It sounds like she just wants a good, hard fuck. Maybe she's trying to have you show passion in that way versus the tender slow thing. Maybe just tell her that you do desire the tender slow thing - making love versus the other once in a while. Relationships are give and take, but communication is key. Source: Been married for a long time, and was in several long-term relationships. You've talked with her about it. Maybe make an agreement to make love more often versus whatever the balance is now? That way she'll be in the right headspace for a slower, different type of intimate experience before you both go into it. And that can be the same for you. I know I want to please my wife, so I'm pretty much down for whatever, and she wants to with me. I don't do anything I don't want to, nor does she. There's just some things one of are more into than the other at times. And that's ok. Hang in there. That last part about thinking she's trying to get pregnant to keep you or something throws up major red flags. You might want to talk about that before any of the sex stuff. I just mention the sex stuff because that's kind of universal - communicate. Openly. Honestly. Your sex life will be much more satisfying. But talk about the part where you feel like you're being trapped. You need to talk about that. For the sake of you both.