First of all thank you so much for your inspiring content some of it already straighten up my ideas, still I feel in need to let this out, I don't really trust anyone close that much to let them know about it (cause no one know expect me and my girlfriend) sadly.

So I'll shorten some details, we where together for 3 years when she went to the uni that is across the ocean hundreds of km away, I had to stay here because of my work. One year had passed, we had some ups and downs but nothing could really break us apart, she came twice a year to visit me it could be more but we couldn't afford it, she's gone to second year of uni (one to go).

So this January she came to visit, everything when perfectly as expected and she was gone in the middle of February, later she came up with the idea of start working at night because of and add that she saw at one of the local clubs, they needed a girl experienced in bar-tending to work at night, we talked allot about this and finally we decided that maybe it could be a relief with our expenses.

She was working for 4 months now when at Summer she could come this time because of work, her bosses (the couple who own the club, a lady about 55 and a guy near is 50) tolled here that they where very pleased with her work and invited her for a "job research" in the neighbor country, she argued allot about this, I got kinda suspicious and jealous, I didn't want her to go, but as always she made up my mind with a bunch of "I love you" and "I going with my bosses that are a couple", what can go wrong?

An so she goes. It seemed that everything has gone just fine, I thought that it could have been the best parties she had ever been in her life, so I started placing questions like, "How was it?" and "How are the clubs there?" etc... and got the most odd (stupidly common answers) like "It was good", "The clubs are fine", she wasn't detailing anything, I felt super suspicious and started thinking outside my head, but never confronted her about anything that I wasn't sure of.

She drops the club and fells into a depression, I told her to come back, she didn't what to come, she told me that something bad happened to her that it had changed her life forever, I got so confused told her to explain it, to tell me what happened, she never did. the last 5 months that passed were very hard I thought I was going to lose her, she was different but not so sad anymore.

She is coming in three days. We reached last Monday (22-12-14), I picked her up at the airport, at 9:55 am she gave me the biggest smile ever and hugged me so close, kissed my cheek but not my lips, I got sad because I really wanted a big kiss, but it must have a reason and again, didn't ask.

We went for a coffee, talked like we were never apart she was almost the same, except I noticed the sadness in her eyes, I asked her what was disturbing her, she said that something happened, I got worried and ask what was it, she had already told me that.. I did deserve to know, we don't keep secrets. But she didn't until at night we went out for a walk to see the Christmas Lights, I looked at her and asked again, said that it wasn't fare her not telling me, she started crying she apologize so much, hugged me and asked me if I loved her no mater what, of course I answered, hugged her back, she whispered that she had been raped, I got shocked but tried to control myself, placed her head in my shoulder and said "It's not your fault, everything will be alright", that didn't change the way I looked to her at all but the way I looked to myself. Asked her "How? Who? When? Where?", she didn't said it all at first it took time, it seems that after all that business trip wasn't real, she was raped by both her bosses (a women and a man), apparently she was drugged near the hotel or stay. and that's all I know right now, I'm afraid of asking for the details but it doesn't seem a really good time.

She left today, back to uni. 4 days she have been here and never kissed my lips or held on me at night, I'm starting to think that she's afraid of men being to close to her, even me... I have dedicated 100% of my time to see her smile, to make her happy, I imagine what can be in her mind, hell I know what's in mine, only wanted to make her forget and realize that it didn't change the way I looked at her. She made me feel like a very good friend but not a boyfriend, who as been there for almost 4 years now, I understand that.

I honestly don't know what to do. Got to do something, already booked a trip to visit her, is that to sudden? should I give her time to herself?

Can someone please guide me here? thank you so much and I hope I made myself clear, because I'm not really English.