Dude... Scary similar background... My mom moved us away right after the first year of high school and I missed everything that goes with those 4 years... Forced myself to hang out with the nobody's after having been with friends from kindergarten. Etc. Started taking pain killers to loosen up and kill my society anxiety...it worked too well and graduated with a habit . Moved back home and made up those 4 years by doing harder drugs and quickly getting and then losing good girlfriends and even some day 1 friends. Joined the army to escape the using but found it there too. Got out and went back to California to be with a girl I met in the army (also army)...that ended 2yrs in right before we got married... Fast forward 2 years and I'm still here.. and completely alone. I mean alone alone.... If it wasn't for a sweet cat ex and I adopted I would have taken my life by now. A scary thought because I cannot emotionally process losing it anytime soon. I hope I don't before I can address and improve my mental stuff.....

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your post and my condolences as well. Reading about how you felt alone just hit home and felt like I had to share that uninvited bit of info hah... Take care ..