He said it didn't show

he told me he wasn't going to put his life on hold so that I could play catch up

Ouch. Those are unforgettable put downs. The way he handles what comes next will say a lot.

First, don't tolerate his put downs ever again. His limited small town success does not allow him to step on your potential, regardless of his perception of your talent. It's hard to be with someone who has a low opinion of you and I think you should tell him that. Tell him it is unacceptable for him to ever put you down like that again, and if it's how he really feels, you don't need it. He can control himself or he can walk. You are worthwhile. He should appreciate your patience and kindness.

You love him, so try to think of this: do you see yourself in New York? As in, would you ever consider moving there on your own? Do you think you would have fun living in a big busy city? If so, consider giving decent notice at your filler job give the city a try. You can always go back to your town, maybe even same job if you split amicably. There are so many more dance related jobs you can do in the city, like teaching classes to adults or children. And clerical or data entry work as far as the eye can see.

If you really don't see yourself in New York, if the thought of it exhausts you, consider a break while he goes there without you for a few weeks as a trial run. He might realize it's a city of big fishes just like him and come back with some perspective.

Either way, zero tolerance on the put downs. You deserve way better than this.