Okay Please please do NOT shut out your mother. She has been a good mother and no mother every was perfect. Your husband is way out of line even suggesting it. As far as the others, this works best for most of us. Look at your family get together‘s as what maybe 2 to 5 times a year. You get together for two hours, maybe three hours. You’re polite for two or three hours. Even if you can’t stand some people you’re just polite for two or three hours. It’s a way to keep the family connected. And if you’re going to connect with them you’ve got to connect with all of them. Family is a unit. I would not allow the pedophile into your house of course. But my understanding as he is not family he is just a friend of your family. If he shows up at any get together just ignore him and avoid him and leave a little earlier than usual.