"We can only comment on the facts as presented in the OP"
Exactly, and that my main problem with this thread. The OP wrote 2/3 paragraphs that did not provide the full context of their situation, or provide her husband's side of the story. For everyone to dish out "advice" based on such limited information is irresponsible in my opinion.
You might feel as though household income is "income for the household" but that's not how reality works, and definitely not how every person feels. I earn a lot more than my GF and, while I gladly cover the vast majority of our expenses, she is not entilted to my money and we will never have a joint bank account. She understands this and is perfectly happy with our relationship dynamic. You can disagree with my morals and my GFs morals if you so wish, but please at least try to understand that your view on "household income" isn't a universal truth.
With that said, I will have to disagree with you re. her husband preventing her from some independence. She made a choice to have children with her husband and unless she was incredibly naive, she would have understood that it would most likely come at the cost of her ability to earn money (excluding online earnings). If she wanted to be in a position to buy a car or anything else, she should have made the choice to not have children until later in life. She didn't make this choice, she decided to have children. Unfortunately, choices often have consequences. This is one of them.