The problem with all of these studies is that they are all based on self-reporting. This means that everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Not only does the definition of violence differ between people (e.g. the cardboard box meme), but also peoples' memories are also very unreliable.
This is a very complicated issue and anyone claiming one study or another to be the "real answer" is more often than not cherry-picking what studies they trust and/or present based on their own personal biases. Not to "both sides" this argument, both Alebrelle and Babcock are being disingenuous with their respective claims about the prevalence of domestic abuse.
However, this is all a huge distraction from the original point. Alebrelle brought up the intimate partner abuse statistics in an attempt to support Destiny's statement that normalizing "sexual comments" in chat leads to escalating levels of harassment/stalking/violence, which actually was a well-reasoned point. timestamped vod link. Alebrelle's problem here was that the argument was done and won but then took the argument too far by unnecessarily bringing up the questionable domestic violence statistics. In doing so, he effectively shot "his side" in the foot by derailing a well-articulated argument laid out by Destiny. A lot of lefties make this mistake when arguing stuff. They let themselves get carried away and end up overreaching in their claims and end up undermining their original point.