Wow that was long, not that it's wrong to have a long post. I don't know what to say. Are you living on your own with your own family now? Have you forgiven your mother? I have a lot of Asian friends and they work their kids harder but you know what, I think some of it is pretty good because most of them are not into gangs or getting into a lot of trouble. Most of them are raised pretty well as children. They seem to have less attitude and bad influences. Their parents are more strict but I think your mom went a little too far if you had bruises when you went to school. Now that was wrong. I'm not defending her but as a parent, we do make mistakes. As far as the card thing goes, I totally do understand about it being Satanic. If you look into some of those decks you will see a lot of occult symbols and witchcraft terminology. You weren't missing anything. There are other games you can play. Your life is not over for that. I think you should read the bible for yourself at your own pace and read one of the gospels and then make a decision whether you believe it or not. Do you believe Jesus is the Son of God who was born of a virgin, died on the cross and rose on the third day and is the Lord and Saviour of the world? That is something you have to make a decision on.
If you are unsure which god you want to go with, go ahead and search the gods and look into who they are. But remember where you are asking and who you asking. Im not going to tell you God is not real or all gods are the same. There was a point when I was unsure and dabbling into other things....One thing you could try is a prayer. Something like this in your own words, "God, I don't know if you are real and I am not sure which direction to go. Please lead me in the right direction so I won't waste time going a false way. I'm gonna have some faith that you will answer me in the bible so I know without doubting what to do. I don't want to live my whole life rejecting you if you are real. I really need an answer and I just want to thank you for listening."
Don't spend too long shopping for a religion or non-religion. You have enough to make a decision with, now but I can understand your confusion with all the religions there are. But being undecided is still unbelief and dabbling in the wrong things is spiritual idolatry. The bible says, the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God. Now that is something to really think about and ask yourself how that is. Fear of God is the acknowledgement of God and the respect and reverence for a Holy God. To get to that point you need humility. Humility brings change and a lessons learned.
All those things that happened in your life are life. I promise no one has a perfect life and there are bumps in them. Some seem like they have it all together but no one really is perfect. I've had a tough life in my 20's. I can't even tell you what happened but you need to let those hurts go and not let it destroy you. Anyway, my comment was not as long as yours... :P but let me leave a couple bible verses with you just to think about.
Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Psalms 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.