My long term gf is pregnant and I'm so torn

Considering the doubts you are having about the relationship, I think terminating the pregnancy is the best option. Having a child isn't something you can take back. It is not fair for your girlfriend to go through with the pregnancy. If you two decided to have the child, she is having that child because she expects a future together with you. Imagine dumping her after she goes through with the pregnancy.

"Hell, even if her and I don't stay together we can still raise a baby right?". Raising a baby is hard enough, going through a break up from a long term relationship would be very difficult to deal with.

I understand your concerns, but I truly think you two are making the right choice. I think right now, you need to focus on your girlfriend. She may feel at peace with the abortion, but it's often a hard process. I had an abortion last year. I'm very pro-choice and I never really thought of my pregnancy as "my baby" or anything. But it was still very hard for me to go through. It feels very invasive, and I was so tired for weeks afterwards.

"Maybe this is just how it needs to happen for me - imperfectly and by accident." This is how some pregnancies and families happen, but it should not be happening between someone who is thinking about breaking up with their partner. Also, this is now how it should be happening for your girlfriend. She's with someone who no longer finds her sexually attractive, and is thinking about breaking up with her. She deserves to be in a relationship with a man who finds her appealing and exciting. If having a child is something she wants in the future, it should be with someone who is ecstatic to spend the rest of their life with her.

Overall, I think you two are making the right choice. Stay with her for a while. You have a responsibility as a partner to support her through her physical and mental healing process. Try not to think too much about your own doubts, and try focusing on her feelings. It's going to make the healing process much easier for you two.

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