I back up my files to a Samsung flash drive that is NTFS formatted, and it does not work on the Mac, only the PC.
I mean, dah. Of course. Format it in exfat in order to work with both without issues.
I tried to install Windows with Boot Camp and it does not work
You did something wrong. Most likely you deleted your macOS partition when you were installing windows, instead of formatting the partition that was made for windows.
I cannot back up because Mac OS cannot write to flash drives or USB floppy drives. Optical drives won't work either
You can't backup your mac because you don't know how to use it. Also, since you didn't ask your help and this is just a rage fueled ignorant rant, I have no sympathy.
As a result, I lost all the files, but thankfully it was just some schoolwork I had already submitted.
Good.
The MacBook also kernel panics every day and freezes several times an hour
Either something is wrong with the machine or most likely (since it is proven you don't know how to use it) you did something wrong, again. Probably installed some sketchy NTFS software. who knows.
MacOS is terrible
At least learn the basics first. Opinions are also like assholes, everyone has 1. Has such, after you learn the basics, you can say: "in my opinion..."
Apple iCloud integration is super annoying
Ah, if only you knew the absolute minimum, you would know that unlike win10 telemetry, you can nuke everything icloud related with 1 click. But I guess going to system preferences is too damn hard.
Siri won't shut up
Siri will shut up if you deactivate it, or if you know what they keyboard is for, and don't activate it by pressing the keys.
How can I run Windows on the MacBook?
This is troublesome. You would need to know how to turn on the machine, click the bootcamp.app, follow the clear instructions... I don't know if you can do it.
Why did you bought the Mac? Why don't you just sell it?
Note
Because I can easily smell bullshit, I took the liberty to look at the post history of this obviously bad troll. I found this post, posted on a subreddit called "AppleHateClub":
I have smashed the following Apple products with a hammer: * iMac * Mac Mini * Apple wireless keyboard * Apple Magic Mouse * iPod shuffle * iPod touch 3rd generation * iPod touch 5th generation * Apple Earpods What Apple products have you smashed? How did you smash them?
This was a post, that even there, had no answers. Case closed. For reference, I don't blame this user. This is all Apple's fucking fault. Where is it said that you need basic cognitive capability and knowing how to read in order to use their products? Apple is really sleeping. I give them 6 more months tops.