Has your relationship always been a dead bedroom? If not, when did it become one? Did something break for her? Or is this the usual have-kids-and-no-sex routine? From what I've read, it sounds like life got stressful for her with the kids and you were having your own emotional/mental problems. You were distracted from supporting her bc you were trying to deal with your own issues but it still made her feel isolated (hence, she doesn't want to have sex). Marriage counseling would be your best bet. Maybe encouraging her that you have worked really hard on yourself by finding good medication with a psychiatrist, quitting alcohol, etc. and that you want to work hard on fixing your relationship with her by using a mediator (counselor) who will help you both be heard? If you want to get back to her, begin by talking about your own progress and tell her how invested you are in working on fixing your marriage by... Fill in with what she has asked of you in your own discussions (ex. listening better, etc.).