Why do I want my mom to be mean to me?

I get what you mean about wanting to re-experience things, it's like we need to remember exactly why we left so that we can move on and stop second guessing ourselves. I've been NC/LC with my mom for almost three months and sometimes I get really lonely and depressed. And life just squashes me. Then I get that feeling like I just want to talk to my mom, I need support even if it comes back to bite me. So I called her about a week ago and told her about another family abuser who keeps trying to control my life and vented. She has told me all my life that ____is a horrible person who is all about control, yet when I needed validation that I was 'right' in how I felt, she withheld it and changed the subject back to her side of the family and how I just randomly cut them off(there's something wrong with ME). Then I come to find out at the end of the call that I'm holding her up from going into the bar she and her boyfriend are at, meaning he was listening the whole time. I know my mom and I know they were probably mocking me after the call was over.

/r/raisedbyborderlines Thread