The pain you feel right now, as permanent as it feels, is temporary. You are always going to miss your mom, and you are always going to hold on to this horribly unfair circumstance that she's gone now... But the pain you feel right this minute will become easier. It won't always hurt. It will replace itself with peace, acceptance, and you will come to terms with the reality of what has happened.
I remember feeling what you felt. After really sitting on that emotion, I came to the conclusion that -I- don't want to die... I want this feeling to die. I want this circumstance to die. I know that there's potential for my life to be better - and now I'm striving for it.
Everything is so raw right now, sometimes you may not even know how you feel. You're going to have moments where you feel absolutely everything, and moments you feel absolutely nothing at all. Please write and please meditate. Please reach deep down inside of yourself to bring every emotion that you are feeling to the surface so that you can work on accepting that it's there. Pushing it away only allows that feeling to remain there and grow stronger. It's there, ignoring it doesn't fix it.
Don't ever forget that your mother loves you, and never stopped loving you. I can't speak for your beliefs... but my parents both passed away in 2013. I have every reason to believe that they are still "with me" if not in this life. I feel them. I dream about them. Sometimes I hear them too!
Your mother would wrap her arms around you so tight, and assure you that it's going to be okay. Keep going. Take it not a day at a time- but a minute at a time. An hour at a time. Whatever it takes... You will look back and know "I got through this!" and so, you can get through ANYTHING.
Everything is going to be okay, as awful as it feels right now...
Your mom loves you SO much, as you are a beautiful life that she created. She doesn't want to see the life that she created end itself... Oh my, I know that you know this! She would be so heartbroken to see that happen to her baby... She knows you are suffering, and I'm sure she wishes she could do more to help. I'm sure if there is any sort of devine influence she could have on your life - she's doing all she can to make that happen.
Listen to the songs that remind you of her. Grieving doesn't happen over night, and it isn't experienced in the same way by any individual person. Please remember you will grieve in your own way, at your own pace and on your own time. Nothing is going to happen the way you think it -should- because, we don't have control over what happens tomorrow...
Losing my parents taught me to let go of what I was expecting my life to be like. I couldn't plan that, because things are going to happen every day that I didn't expect. Good things, and bad things. That's life.
You can keep going.