Sometimes parents don’t have your best interests at heart. Sometimes, the only way to protect yourself is to cut them off. I have a friend whose mom used his identity to open credit cards and accumulate a ton of debt and then defaulted on the debt. She destroyed his credit and he never fully recovered from that. He cut her out of his life because she was damaging his life. It was the only option. Your parents are actively harming you. You need to protect yourself. My friend went out and made his own family. He found friends who became family for him and his life has been full and happy without his mom in it. I think he still loves her but she made it impossible for him to safely have a relationship with her and he has accepted that. You don’t have to stop loving your parents. You do need to take steps to protect yourself from them. I hope you are able to find peace.