My mom seriously ticks me off?

Ah, my mom was the same way. As a child she would tell me how I don't need anyone else outside of my family - I quote in vivid memory, "What are friends good for? You don't need any" in advising me how I shouldn't trust people. Both of my parents are overprotective and have immense paranoia. While I understand that they have good intentions, their parental style I think messed me up big time. (I wonder if I should talk to a therapist about it..)

Are you currently in college? Do you live with your family? I urge you to socialize, for many reasons ranging from how it'll help you develop soft skills that are necessary in many professions to learning how to maintain healthy relationships to keeping your mental sanity because humans are in the end social creatures! What would your mom do if you were to make friends - would she punish you or something?

Some suggestions:

  1. Move and live away from your mom, so you have the freedom to do as you wish.
  2. If you have little choice but to live with your mom and you're under her control, then perhaps you could try bringing home "good" friends. Let your mom get to know your friends a little and perhaps she'll come to her senses to see that they will not endanger you.
  3. Get a job and befriend your co-workers. Your mom might understand that being friendly with them is something that's necessary to keep your job. This will also help you earn enough to move out one day.
  4. Rebel? Just go ahead and make friends. You even have the encouragement of your psychologist. I mean, maybe your mom won't let you hang out with people but while you're at school/work, she can't monitor your every little interaction right, so how much would she know anyway?

It's a tough situation to be in, I understand where you're coming from. I hope things improve and work out for you.

/r/AsianParentStories Thread