My mom tried to tell me that my dad molested my kids while I was away.

Your mom is a passive-aggressive, drama-whore, who needs to say horrid things about the people around her in a pathetic attempt to try and elevate herself in the eyes of whomever.

Oh, wait... sounds more like my mother. Sorry.

But, it does sound like your mom may have some of those traits. I grew up hearing my mother tell my brothers and me that my father regularly kicked my mother in the abdomen while she was first pregnant with me, then pregnant with my brothers. We also heard repeatedly how my father told her and everyone he could how he never wanted any of us kids. Not only that, she would tell us of horrible things he'd say about us as children to her behind our backs. She always told us we could never trust him, and to only trust her with our love.

The thing is.... growing up with my father, he never raised a hand to any of us kids, nor my mother or anyone. My aunts and uncles loved to tell stories of my father talking about us and how excited he was to be a father-to-be while my mother was pregnant. He never in the 4 decades I knew him, until he passed away gave any indication of being anything but an incredibly sweet man who loved his children and loved his wife despite her periodic emotional abuse toward him and us. These stories of my mother would only happen after fights she'd have with my father.

It sounds like your mother has the same sorts of issues my mother had (still has actually). I'm not sure what to tell you to do. Upon reaching adulthood (and in the decades since), I've recommended to her multiple times to see a therapist, which she refuses to do. If you are certain that your mom's allegations are false, then you should try to recommend therapy, and maybe even use access to your kids as leverage, but that is difficult to do, I understand. My mother has never seen a psychiatrist, nor will she. When my father passed, she even started to direct some of her drama/anger/whatever toward me, I cut off all contact with her. I haven't seen (or been in communication with) her since the day my father died... over 3 years ago. I don't know if I'd recommend that, but if your mom is anything like my mom, that might be the path you are on.

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread