I was raised by a narcissistic mother and we have a pretty decent relationship now. I’ve allowed her to babysit my two year old son a handful of times, far fewer than she’d like or had expected to as a grandmother however. I’ve had to constantly teach her, guide her, and make hard rules against the things she wants to do with him. So far so good… it’s a work in progress but so far she has respected me and my wife so we do our best to make allowances and be lenient.

But if I ever received an email like that she’d be cut off from my son entirely. Probably me and my wife also. Just because someone is family doesn’t give them the right to be judgemental and abusive. If I were you I’d make it clear that the words used in the email you received are absolutely unacceptable and she won’t have any access to your child for the foreseeable future.

If it were me I’d not be able to forgive her and would cut her off completely. But I realise relationships are varied between families so if she did change her tune and make amends then it’s up to you whether you want to allow her into your circle again over time.