I’m so sorry, this is an awful situation for you all and I have experienced some of what you’re going through in my own family.

What we found is that you can’t make that person make a change, and that you can only take care of you and how you respond. So do that, take care of yourself, put in place boundaries with him and work on enforcing them. Encourage your parents to do the same. I’d also say, be sure to do that before kicking him out, I feel that I’m doing that you’d all likely suffer more than he might, as he’d use it as another way to hurt you by hurting himself.

In our scenario things got better, much much better and I hope for the same for you. They got better because my family member found new connections online who they decided to listen to, who found a way to guide them on a career path that clicked for them. This took years, but it happened and it was down to them making a change and nothing we did made this happen.

If your brother is similar then much of the issue centres around being bright from an early age and finding life got harder rather than easier after school. A feeling of not being valued, of being looked over means they step back rather than lean in and then get angry at those closest to them when they see people they feel are ‘less than’ succeeding through hard work, where they feel they are superior.