My father had a next door neighbor once who was a real prick. He’d act like the head of a HOA to everyone around him, but this was an old neighborhood that had never had one to begin with, much less need one in recent years. The guy was relentless.

My father had two dogs that were fairly short, so when there was significant snowfall in the winter he’d dig out paths for them to be able to go out to do their business in.

One winter he’s given a snowblower as a gift so he’d not have to shovel his driveway, the sidewalk or paths by hand anymore. The next heavy snowfall happened only a few days after getting the snowblower, so he’s excited to try it out. He gets to the general dog path area (the paths varied so as to not just have one tiny area to collect months of shit and piss), and hears a rather audible sound of something being picked up by the snowblower. The neighbor comes out to get into his vehicle to go to work, but stops to complain about the noise before leaving. That sound of something solid? A dog turd missile.

My father claims to have only making the connection after having finished clearing the path area and allegedly the snowblower just happening to have the exit part pointed high enough to land on the neighbor’s garage roof. Naturally, the neighbor complained about the snow, but wasn’t aware of the turds until spring when everything started melting.

I know my father. He’s not passive aggressive, but his only reaction to this was “Oh. Oops.” The uptight neighbor finally moved away and good neighbors moved in, but I’d really like to believe that my father was only being passive aggressive for once in his life and the turds were a nice bonus. Or even better, he knew full well when he set out that morning and that really was planned upon receipt of the snowblower.