Wow, sorry to hear that.

If I understood correctly, by MK-ultra, I think you maybe mean your own parent(s) might have berated and belittled you excessively, and probably tried to gaslight you all the time?

If so, that really sucks. :(

But just know it was NOT your fault. You were just a kid growing up and they shouldn't have treated you that way.

And even at the times you genuinely made a mistake here and there, just know that ALL people make mistakes especially while growing up and learning about the world. (And even into our 20's, and beyond!).

The job of a parent is not to beat their child's spirit down, everytime a mistake is made.