My partner (M/28) broke up with me (F/28) because I refused to promise to stay within a healthy BMI in the future

It sounds like you and your partner don't have to issue an ultimatum to each other to stay in shape. You're both self-motivated and want a partner who is self-motivated.

My brother and his fiancee are the same way - both extremely driven people who demand things of themselves and their partners and so it works for them.

Really, in a certain sense, it was already over for OP and her boyfriend by that point. If OP doesn't want to stay fit on her own, and the BF has a different level of expectation of what their relationship should be, it is already over. And no, I don't consider that emotional abuse or being a douche. For a number of people a healthy relationship means maintaining physical attraction to one another throughout the years. Why should OP's boyfriend be expected to be okay with losing that element of the relationship? It's emotional blackmail to expect someone to stay in a relationship just because it has gone on a certain number of years.

OP says her boyfriend had "good genetics" and therefore would have an easier time staying fit and that it is unfair, but that's just an excuse. OP wants to live the lifestyle she wants to live and doesn't want to accept that comes with consequences, and is instead trying to make BF a villain who wanting something that is completely rational. OP says it goes against her values, and OP wants a partner who has internalized those values. It is simply not a fit.

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread Parent