My partner told me he was excited to start a family, but went and had a vasectomy done in secret. I don’t know how we can move forward from this.

The dude is 24. He’s been with the same girl since he was 18 and she was 16. Everyone involved in the relationship is probably a bit immature and hasn’t had a lot experience in relationships. They’re young and they’ve only ever been with each other.

She’s wanted kids more than anything for the entire duration of the relationship. He found out he’s infertile. They’re planning to build a life together. He wants to spend forever with someone he’s been with since highschool. The only woman he’s ever lived with or loved ans ann andjlt and probably the only woman he’s ever had a real intimate relationship with. He’s immature and inexperienced and he feels under immense pressure to be able to give her one thing and he finds out that he can’t.

Of course he did something stupid. Of course he handled it badly. He felt helpless and like he’d failed the person he loves and it was going to ruin his life, so he went looking for a way to have some control.

Stupid, immature, panicky and wrong? Without question. But young, in a difficult situation with a bunch of pressure and social stigma. Most people won’t come out of that scenario looking smart.

In my 40s and having had enough failed relationships and therapy to now have half a brain? I think he’s a fucking dumbass. But I remember being young and not knowing what to do, and choosing a fucking stupid option because I didn’t have the emotional intelligence to think my way through.

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates Thread Parent