3. My prediction of the title of the "Untitled Spider-Man Homecoming Sequel"...

My prediction of the title of the "Untitled Spider-Man Homecoming Sequel"...

Spider-Man: Spider Strikes Back - In which the spider that bit Peter returns to seek revenge, can he spin a web big enough to capture the webbed wonder? Fuck no! He's a tiny ass spider, dummy!

Spider-Man: Venom Venom In the Night - In which Peter takes a seat in front of the audience and explains to them why both Kevin Feige and Amy Pascal are flip-flopping about the entire thing, he does this for two and a half hours until the audience finds out at the end (spoilers!) that he has no fucking clue.

Spider-Man: I Saw My Aunt Naked, What Do I Do? - In which Peter seeks therapy after a particularly eye-opening night with his aunt.

Spider-Man: Let's Shoot Ben Again - In which Peter's driven mad by watching Uncle Ben die twice, so he takes upon himself to off the old man for a third time.

Spider-Man: There's Something Wrong With Peter - End of the journey, Peter's hopped up on some of the strongest tranquilivers known to man as he lives out the rest of his days in a psychiatric hospital, muttering stuff to himself about 'catching thieves just like flies'. Not gonna lie, it's pretty fucking depressing.

I'm tired and bored, sorry.

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