I call that overcompensation tbh--if what they're actually saying is "go out of your way to be nice to them". Incels have the most influence on other incels. Men have the highest probability, otherwise, of being a positive role model to one. What people don't get is the sheer volume of incels that will hate a woman if she humanizes him but then refuses to put out--

I have a childhood friend that is an absolutely kind and she ended up having a lot of friends in college because she just openly talked and complimented people while being very outgoing. She ended up attracting massive amounts of "you're not like the other girls!" type incels she insisted were good guys until they tried making the moves on her...usually afterwards they complained about her being an evil b**** that lead them on or something like that...even though from the beginning she clarified she was lesbian and was just looking for friends, which they said they understood so almost exclusively hung out in group situations.

Think I have maybe one example of one time she befriended someone feeling isolated and ended up finding him a friend group of guys, which was kind of cute and heartwarming.