My roommate doesn’t like me and I don’t know if it’s because I did something wrong or if it’s an ADHD thing she didn’t understand

Um I may be a bit old for Reddit and therefore less optimistic/naive about the value of "open communication" and "talking it out" but life has taught me the hard way that not all communication is verbal. The fact that she is speaking to you as little as possible and interrupting you when you talk is communication--she's saying she doesn't want to talk to you.

Sometimes there aren't magical words you can say to make things better. Sometimes adults don't want to talk to each other, for so many reasons.

  • She might be going through some dark shit and doesn't want to drag you into it. Believe me, some stuff you actually just don't want to know about. Privacy is a survival skill for mature adults.
  • She could just be sick of you and want some space but be open to connecting again later, in a month, or five years, or a decade.
  • She might have realized that she doesn't like you or your life choices, and is avoiding talking to you because there's no way to talk about it without saying things that you would both regret hearing.
  • She might be mad at you or herself or the world and not even be able to explain why to herself yet.

Sometimes there aren't answers to these situations. Even if you forced her to confront "the issue," there may not be one clear issue to confront, so you might just be forcing her to make something up, which will cause her to further resent you. I think the questions you need to ask yourself are instead:

  • How can I achieve a more positive living situation for myself?
  • How can I sit with the discomfort of ambiguity and come to peace with it, even if there is no answer or solution?
  • How can I resolve this situation in alignment with my values so I can move on with my life without regrets?
/r/adhdwomen Thread Parent