My sister (34) suggested my SO (31) and I (27) have a child so that she can adopt it

I realize this seems like a big deal to you, and that is absolutely valid, but this may be something you need to just let go. You’re 27 and in a relationship, and she’s 34 and single. Telling her you don’t want kids at all may really piss her off, because she may see it as you casually throwing away something she would give anything to have.

Like you said, she was drunk when she said it. This all sounds like she’s incredibly frustrated with her situation and she may be spiraling. I’ve been in her shoes, and if my sister had chosen that point in my life to tell me she didn’t want kids, I probably would have cut her out of my life.

If you feel like this is something you need to address, I would phrase it differently, maybe something like: “I was thinking about the comments you made the other day about me and [SO] having a baby, and it made me kind of uncomfortable. Are you doing alright? You’ve been making some pretty odd comments about having a baby lately and I just want to make sure that everything is okay.” It might not work, but it gives her an opportunity to both apologize and to offer an explanation.

/r/relationships Thread